The ripple of the butterfly effect has happened and it’s led to an overwhelming avalanche of snow falling on my plans for this new school year.  I could’ve never predicted Enrique showing up to school, lying profusely about our Bermuda encounter, Hamilton igniting the situation, then of course I explode in the cafeteria in front of a concourse of my fellow peers.  Apparently, Mrs. Jones caught wind of my blow up and told my mom.  My dear mother and father in turn had a sit down “serious” conversation with me.  My parents had me sat down like I was a toddler as they marched back and forth across the living room, obviously concerned in my quest to be normal, that I was failing drastically.

 

“Jami what did we tell you about controlling your emotions sweetie?  No matter how bad things get you cannot let them control you.”  My mom can be the most condescending during the times when I need her emotional support the most. 

 

“Ma, they were spreading evil, ungodly, malicious lies about me!  I would presume for once you’d be elated to know your daughter, the one you used to be so proud of, with all her math awards and being selected to attend M.I.T., was not the slut you thought she was?!”

 

“Jami don’t speak to your mother that way.  Watch the tone.”  My dad had a way of shifting the tension between my mother and myself.  He was stern, but didn’t raise his voice.

 

“We are proud that you are keeping your morals intact, but choosing not to go to M.I.T. is not the issue here.  People will be people and they’ll do evil-nasty things even when you don’t deserve it.  I can’t tell you why?  After fifty-seven years on this planet, the thought still perplexes me.  Humans are a living paradox, we do evil, yet we love and forgive all the same.  It’s the saving grace of God I guess that allows us to even tap into something as pure as love.  We do not want those evil ways that people sometimes choose to get the best of you.  We love you and we only want to understand that.”

 

My daddy the great wise man.  Mom always seems so hostile when she talks to me now.  When I was younger it was like she and I were inseparable.  It’s like when I started formulating my own thoughts and opinions the relationship hasn’t been the same.  It sometimes feels like I’ve betrayed my mother in some way, by being my own person.

 

“Do you understand what we’re saying?”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“About M.I.T. Jami.  I know you think for some reason I resent you for not choosing to go.  I want you to make the best choices for you.  I understand that you wanted to be more social and I get that, you wanted to not seem like the geek or nerd anymore, but I want you to find some balance between being a brilliant girl, I’m sorry, woman that you are, and being social.  One does not have to overtake the other, both should work together for your advantage.  And also know these boys…I know it’s fun having a boyfriend, but from my experience boys don’t like when you try too hard.  Now go change before I take you to school.”  My mom had to have the last word.  

 

I guess she’s right.  Boys may not be the answer, it sure does feel good to be wanted, but maybe I’m being wanted by the wrong type of guys and that’s why I continue getting hurt, I look easy so therefore I must be in the sight of these loser guys.  That’s not what I want.  

 

After the talk with my parents this morning I decided I need to get my head back and try to find balance.  I was definitely going to stay out of the cafeteria for the rest of the week until I was no longer the talk of humiliation.  In teenage years one week is enough before the new wave of drama catches everyones attention, then Sauron’s great eye will no longer be fixed on me.  

 

I found refuge in the library today.  Sasha insisted on joining me.  I wasn’t in the mood for more drama and for once there was none, she didn’t say a word the whole time.  We sat and did our homework, which felt nice for once just to focus on academics.  It’s a place where I never have any issues, I still have my 5.0 GPA, no one knows though.  I don’t want to be seen as a nerd.  Gosh, did I really yell that I went to space camp this summer?  I guess the jig is up a little.  My GPA will remain a secret.  Sasha is the only one who knows anything about my past academic achievements, but I never told her about M.I.T. or the MacArthur Genius Grant.

 

As we headed to English class that afternoon I finally had to confront Sasha about Mr. Callesano.

 

“Sash I know you’ve been quiet and haven’t really wanted to talk about Mr. Callesano being here, but what are you going to do?  I mean don’t you think you should switch teachers?  Can’t you see the pain you’re causing him being in his class?”

 

“Jami I…hi”. Sasha stopped mid-sentence.  I turned to look in the direction see was looking and a fair-skinned guy approached where we were standing.

 

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay?” 

 

Sasha was finally going to say something after being mute, but this guy just came in the middle of our conversation.  The warning bell rang so Sasha jetted into the classroom, I knew she was avoiding me and left me with a stranger.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“I apologize I didn’t want to seem like I was prying, it’s just that after I pulled you out of the cafeteria yesterday you seemed distraught, so much so you ran into the boys bathroom.”  I could tell he was genuine in his checking on me. 

 

“Oh, that was you?  Thank you for that, but honestly I’m fine.”  I let my guard down a little.  There was no need to be mad at him, especially since he had no clue what Sasha and I were talking about.

 

“Okay I’ll take your word for it.”

 

He was leaving when I couldn’t help but ask him.

 

“Why do you care?”

 

He turned slowly back around and I noticed how gentle his face was.  His eyes were kind, caring, golden brown, very tall and his brown hair was filled with curls.

 

“I just don’t like to see people hurt, that’s all.  Hope you have a great rest of your day.”

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“Mike.  Yours?  I’m just kidding I know you’re Jami Causey, the smartest-most beautiful girl in the whole school.”

 

I was taken aback.  My heart sank.  I didn’t manage to say a word before he walked off telling me I should get to class before the tardy bell rang.

 

Who was this Mike fellow?  Why hadn’t I noticed him before?  He knew of me.  I became flushed.  If my skin was as pale as his, then red would’ve seemed from behind my cheeks.  I still can’t catch my breath.